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I recently read a fellow blogger’s post that she dedicated to her best friend. She compiled a list of 20 things that her bestie has taught her. (see her post http://natalieslovelyblog.com/2014/12/24/20-things-my-best-friend-has-taught-me/ )
It has inspired me to do something similar.
Invaluable Lessons Learnt From A Friend
My only friend is a guy. I consider him to be one of my soul mates. Yes, I believe you can have more than one. I believe I have two. And yes, I don’t think it has anything to do with romance.
(more of my view on that : https://flutterbyinspira.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/whats-the-deal-with-soul-mates/ )
I have learnt so much from him. In ways I didn’t think were viable.
- I’ve learnt that soul mates aren’t always designed to be your spouse.
- That it is possible to live without letting anger govern any of your actions, not even an outburst of any kind.
- I learnt the value of having someone that you can go to with anything and trust that they will NEVER judge you.
- He has taught me that you don’t have to react to everything people say or do to you.
- He has taught me the value of having a kindred soul to connect with.
- I have seen the value of open communication in any relationship because of the one I have with him.
- I’ve learnt that just because it is possible to have this kind of relationship with him doesn’t mean there are others I can have the same type of relationship with. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
- He has made me aware of the power of affirmation.
- And that there is immense value in having someone who gives it to you straight.
- I have learnt that not everybody will use what you have confided in them as a weapon. I needed to learn that one, people are, or rather, can be quite terrible sometimes.
- That it is possible to live truly selflessly.
- That friendship is the space that allows you to share physical space with someone without saying a word and emerge from it feeling refreshed and grateful.
- And that it is perfectly ok to disagree vigorously. It does not change the dynamic of a solid relationship. In fact it should make it stronger.
- I’ve learnt to appreciate early morning coffees, milky tea, double-decker sarmies, late night movies, the discovery channel, chocolate-stoney get-togethers, listening to music in the dark and silent drives to beautiful places.
- One of the best things I’ve been taught from my bestie is that sometimes what I think I need is not what I need at all. It’s comforting to know that there is someone out there who sees through me well enough to do, for me, what I need most at the exact time I need it
The thought of losing him used to panic me, but we have evolved beautifully. We love without regrets and that means being grateful for what we have been gifted with and being content with it. He has invaded my space in ways I did not know was possible while respecting me all at the same time. (His response to that particular line would be…”it’s not invading if the space is already yours”.)
More than a few times people have suggested that we are biased in our relating to each other. My response to them – no one else would be able to handle how direct we are with each other. They don’t want to.
I always think about that. People don’t often truly appreciate that kind of direct interaction. They stumble and get offended and give you the cold shoulder.
I am the kind of soul who really appreciates genuine people. People, who without an ounce of nastiness, will tell me the truth about anything, who won’t hide behind what society has taught them “is just not done that way”, who don’t have a hidden agenda, who won’t fake their help or love or like or dislike or anger or sadness. I have found very few people in my days on this earth that can do that.
I think it’s because there are so many souls out there who are easily offended because they have claimed a right to not be treated a certain way. They think in lines of not deserving certain treatment and won’t accept anything sub-standard. I am not saying we are worth nothing and deserve to be trashed in any way. I am saying, there is a bigger picture. People like Ghandi, Jesus, the apostles, various cultures and races, have suffered and have been tortured and killed for effecting changes I only dream of now. They definitely didn’t deserve the treatment they got. But they did not allow it to make them back down from what they were passionate about. Why should we?
My friend, only by God’s grace, has made me aware of all of this and so much more. I miss him dearly.
I am grateful.
Brownie in a cup (yes again)
An opportunity to spend time watching my little girl play in a blow up pool for the first time.
A man who decided to make lunch for me
Having my man at home for the holidays
A new hair care regimen that seems like it could actually work
New found confidence only made possible by my King
Angry Birds 🙂
The hope of new job opportunities
We have much to be grateful for. It’s weird, for me, to have to actually think about what I am thankful for each week. Makes me feel a bit guilty. Truth is, the things I am thankful for don’t often change much. But I am truly grateful for them. Having my husband go out and work for me and our daughter each day is something that takes my breath away. All the time. He looks after us so well and I count myself privileged to be able to call myself his wife. Many women never get to experience what I do on a daily basis. And I am honoured.
Another thing I stay amazed at is the blessing of having someone to speak to who truly gets what I am saying. They listen without prejudice or judgement and they aren’t afraid to tell me when I am wrong. And when I speak, I don’t have to explain myself in excess.
Isn’t it strange how people think they have the right to judge you just because they think they know you? Ok, I know, that had nothing to do with my list or reasons for posting today. But it has made me incredibly grateful for what I have in my only human friend.
I know many may never experience what I have and it always boils down to just one thing…. God loves me. Now I love Him with my life.
I do not get it.
When people do things they have no right to do under the guise of doing it ‘for your good’ its not always true is it?
Sometimes its just because they could be control freaks. (Freak is a good word in my book by the way)
Sometimes its because they are projecting their own will or desires onto you.
I hate when people abuse their power. I hate it because its unjust. Its almost like rape. A rape of the mind, or rather of your right to make decisions on the journey that is actually your own life. Not theirs.
I hate it because it is not fair and because not fair equals being unjust.
What’s always fascinating to me is that these people actually find some poor weakish soul to be unjust to. There’s always someone they can mould and shape into what they want themselves.
It can be so debilitating.
And that just makes me feel so sad for people like that. Both parties.
Why can’t we actually let love be our guide. It would work so much better.
Inspired and Loved
The reason I read and sometimes watch the things I do, come from my lonely childhood. At least that’s what I believe.
Books, movies, series, sagas all present another world to me. Someone else’s world – a better world.
The stories I find most fascinating are the ones where, no matter how terrible the story, there is always a good outcome.
I’ve spent a lifetime waiting for my happy ending. It’s like that saying: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
Yet my life has had its own miraculous moments. My mother, who bathed me in love for no other reason (I believe) than the fact that she didn’t get it from her mother. And I don’t think from the woman who raised her either. Definitely not the way she gave it to me.
I spend most of my conscious meanderings mentally pulling myself up short.
I always realise – its because of someone else’s perception of me. I haven’t allowed myself to prove myself to myself.
Yet, I am an advocate of grace. I believe what God’s word says about me is true. And still, I live by my own philosophy – You act what you believe.
Makes me think…
How am I acting?
What do I believe?
I am acting fearful. Fearful of the opinions of people I hold in high regard. Because I’ve placed them in that high position, I’ve given them a title and now I expect them to live up to it.
When they don’t, I act surprised, shocked, disappointed.
Its not even my right. Another one of my philosophies…. I have no rights.
What do I deserve? Nothing.
I hear the collective, figurative gasp at that. Especially in this day and age where people focus so much on creating your own happiness and weeding outthe rotten apples from your life, because you deserve better. Well you don’t.
We’ve been given life. Freely. And I think the very best we can do with a free gift of such a great magnitude is live it so it does the Giver a great justice. Not mope and moan about injustices and things.
We deserve nothing more because we’ve been given so much.
I feel like I have as much to give but so few to give it to. Like I have so much greatness pent up inside me and on some level I’m afraid to let it out.
It’s true. Our deepest fear is that we are inadequate.
I can think of nothing else that would hold me back so perfectly. Inadequate in our sight as well as and/or possibly in the sight of others also.
I value good friendship a great deal. Yet I sometimes feel guilty that I get to experience it. Like what have I done so right to earn the things I have. And in the face of potentially losing it – I find myself feeling guilty again. What right do I have to want to cling to something other people don’t even know how to dream of because there is nothing that can match it.
I love watching or reading books that invoke thoughts of being more and accepting more.
I am overwhelmed when I think of the space I actually take up in this universe. In comparison I am nothing. In comparison I am no-one.
Yet my being here does something. It creates something. Brings forth something. Dare I say it?
I believe in ripple effects and butterflies. The opportunity to change and be so transformed that you have no choice but to affect your surroundings.
EVERYTHING I do affects someone or something else. It does so in both good and bad ways.
I hate regret. Its a terrible thing. It festers and breeds till all it has brought forth is lack of reason to be thankful.
P.s. 20 minutes of free flow writing…. I did good 🙂
Someone once asked me to tell them about myself. I responded by telling them all about the things I like doing and some other things I appreciate in life.
He responded by informing me that he didn’t want to know what I liked…. He said he wanted to know about me. I still don’t know exactly what that means.
But that’s what this blog is for. That, and I long to share what inspires me so that others would be uplifted.
This will come forth in different forms…. but more about that later.
I would call myself quite a deep soul. I value knowing who I am a great deal. The passion for knowing my identity has been filled by the question: What defines me? What makes me ME?
For your eyes today, I shall attempt to put some of the answers to these questions into words.
I am, first and foremost, a worshipper. I believe we all are. What makes us different is who or what we worship.
I would call myself quite complex, a lady with many facets and this blog is my attempt at sharing those facets. I do so in the hope that maybe, just maybe I will find kindred souls who will get some of who I am because they share those facets too.
Also, hopefully, there are some other souls out there who don’t know themselves well enough to put a label to the aspects they haven’t been able to name on their own.
I’m hoping to get responses like “I know, right!?!?”
I’m hoping to find other people who, like me are asking, “Is there anyone out there who feels the way I do?”
For as long as I can remember I have loved reading. I read EVERYTHING! And I can read things more than once without getting bored easily too. This has brought forth, in me, a desire to write. To make others experience the joy I have felt while delving into the literary, creative, inspiring thoughts and aspirations of others.
I am also a self proclaimed foodie with lots n lots to learn. I really really really enjoy good food. Both eating it and cooking it. And I enjoy sharing it too.
I also love love. Everything about love inspires me and gives me hope. I love that I know how to love because, without any prerequisites, God loves me first. That’s the kind of love that gives life. It’s this kind of love that I want everyone to feel radiating from me and oozing from my pores.
My thoughts translate themselves to me in various ways. Sometimes in colour, other times in sound.
Hopefully, I get to share all of the things that inspire me with my readers (new and old alike) and perhaps you will all be inspired by what inspires me.
My dog died a little while ago…
I’ve held off writing about it because I thought it might actually get easier to do so.
I was wrong.
Buddy came into my life about 5 years ago. He was an adorable, brown, bow-legged miniature daschund and I’d like to tell you about him.
He attacked me the day I went to get him. He did so because he was insanely protective of his owners. They had to put him in the passenger seat next to me because he wouldn’t let me touch him.
He loved to ride though. So he stayed in the car, whining ever so softly as we drove off, leaving his previous family behind.
On the drive home, which was approximately 30 minutes long, he kept increasing the volume of his now familiar whine until I invited him onto my lap. Once there he stood on his hind legs with his fore legs braced on my arm. He loved that spot.:)
I always thought it gave him that living ‘on-top-of-the-world’ feeling. 🙂
Anyway, by the time we arrived home he had become my protector and no one could come near me, not even my husband!
It stayed like that. He was so full of life and character and had a truly phenomenal personality.
We have had a couple of incidents where he got injured and he never truly recovered from the last one.
I loved him sooooo much and I know that there has never been nor will there ever be anyone who loves me the way he did.
He was the best.
Hopefully I get the opportunity to write about him again….when it feels less raw.
One thing I am certain of, he can never be replaced and I will never forget him….
After much thought I decided to watch the movie, Precious, again.
What strikes me most is that people, human beings, have the capacity to hurt their own.
I am becoming increasingly aware of how much mankind thinks of themselves as individuals when infact, in the grand scheme of things, we are relatively insignificant.
About to go to bed and I do so with gratitude that God’s amazing love heals ALL.
I know I’d be completely lost and damaged if not for grace.
Much love… :-*
From YOUR marriage is your FIRST Ministry:
Love is easy when you get in the habit of operating in it, because then it
will flow even when you are not aware of it. Don’t close down on love. It
doesn’t hurt, people do that to one another. Love helps…..”love is
patient, love is kind, love is felt most when it’s genuine!”.