I recently read a fellow blogger’s post that she dedicated to her best friend. She compiled a list of 20 things that her bestie has taught her. (see her post http://natalieslovelyblog.com/2014/12/24/20-things-my-best-friend-has-taught-me/ )
It has inspired me to do something similar.
Invaluable Lessons Learnt From A Friend
My only friend is a guy. I consider him to be one of my soul mates. Yes, I believe you can have more than one. I believe I have two. And yes, I don’t think it has anything to do with romance.
(more of my view on that : https://flutterbyinspira.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/whats-the-deal-with-soul-mates/ )
I have learnt so much from him. In ways I didn’t think were viable.
- I’ve learnt that soul mates aren’t always designed to be your spouse.
- That it is possible to live without letting anger govern any of your actions, not even an outburst of any kind.
- I learnt the value of having someone that you can go to with anything and trust that they will NEVER judge you.
- He has taught me that you don’t have to react to everything people say or do to you.
- He has taught me the value of having a kindred soul to connect with.
- I have seen the value of open communication in any relationship because of the one I have with him.
- I’ve learnt that just because it is possible to have this kind of relationship with him doesn’t mean there are others I can have the same type of relationship with. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
- He has made me aware of the power of affirmation.
- And that there is immense value in having someone who gives it to you straight.
- I have learnt that not everybody will use what you have confided in them as a weapon. I needed to learn that one, people are, or rather, can be quite terrible sometimes.
- That it is possible to live truly selflessly.
- That friendship is the space that allows you to share physical space with someone without saying a word and emerge from it feeling refreshed and grateful.
- And that it is perfectly ok to disagree vigorously. It does not change the dynamic of a solid relationship. In fact it should make it stronger.
- I’ve learnt to appreciate early morning coffees, milky tea, double-decker sarmies, late night movies, the discovery channel, chocolate-stoney get-togethers, listening to music in the dark and silent drives to beautiful places.
- One of the best things I’ve been taught from my bestie is that sometimes what I think I need is not what I need at all. It’s comforting to know that there is someone out there who sees through me well enough to do, for me, what I need most at the exact time I need it
The thought of losing him used to panic me, but we have evolved beautifully. We love without regrets and that means being grateful for what we have been gifted with and being content with it. He has invaded my space in ways I did not know was possible while respecting me all at the same time. (His response to that particular line would be…”it’s not invading if the space is already yours”.)
More than a few times people have suggested that we are biased in our relating to each other. My response to them – no one else would be able to handle how direct we are with each other. They don’t want to.
I always think about that. People don’t often truly appreciate that kind of direct interaction. They stumble and get offended and give you the cold shoulder.
I am the kind of soul who really appreciates genuine people. People, who without an ounce of nastiness, will tell me the truth about anything, who won’t hide behind what society has taught them “is just not done that way”, who don’t have a hidden agenda, who won’t fake their help or love or like or dislike or anger or sadness. I have found very few people in my days on this earth that can do that.
I think it’s because there are so many souls out there who are easily offended because they have claimed a right to not be treated a certain way. They think in lines of not deserving certain treatment and won’t accept anything sub-standard. I am not saying we are worth nothing and deserve to be trashed in any way. I am saying, there is a bigger picture. People like Ghandi, Jesus, the apostles, various cultures and races, have suffered and have been tortured and killed for effecting changes I only dream of now. They definitely didn’t deserve the treatment they got. But they did not allow it to make them back down from what they were passionate about. Why should we?
My friend, only by God’s grace, has made me aware of all of this and so much more. I miss him dearly.
I am grateful.